Posts Tagged ‘Shelter’

Greetings, Kids!

You’ve probably noticed an uptick in all things nuclear. What with the Iran Nuclear Deal, the semi-annual Trinity Site tour, the Manhattan Site National Historical Park rolling along and the always fun North Korea bopping around on the horizon, you can’t hardly spit without it hitting something nuclear. So, I thought we’d take a look at modern fallout shelters rather than the normal Cold War era fun we have.

So what are you to do?

Well, one path you could take is to build your very own fallout shelter. And lucky for you, the Internet has a wealth of information on that topic! Wikihow in particular has you covered with this, I don’t know if I’d call it informative, but…interesting (?) “article” covering the ins and outs of building your very own fallout shelter. It even has pictures!

So let’s take a deep dive into Wikihow’s “How to Build a Fallout Shelter” piece, shall we?

OK!

HowToBuildAFalloutShelter

So, this is the introductory paragraph for the piece. It’s kind of…scary? And not because of the actuality of tens of thousands of nuclear weapons existing, etc., but because of the Doomsday-ish tone the whole thing takes. And, dude: when you include other apocalyptic possibilities from movies, like an asteroid hitting Earth, you slide all the way into crazy prepper territory which kind of eliminates your credibility. At least with the non-nutjob set.

If you’re unfamiliar with the Wikihow style, each entry is divided into helpful Steps. Here’s the first step for building a fallout shelter, complete with a zombie cross-eyed guy doing the thinking, which definitely sets the tone as totally legit for the whole piece. The first step also keeps things totally light with the, “Keep in mind that this decision will either kill you or keep you alive” to close out the paragraph. No pressure though.

Step1

Step 2 asks the reader to “print out the instructions for the shelter you want to make and cross out each step when completed.” So…this How to Build a Fallout Shelter piece isn’t actually going to tell me how to do that? I don’t really know…

Step 2 also helpfully includes a scary image of a fallout shelter “plan” complete with an entirely too large image of a gas mask, which, wow, that’s really out of scale. Also, if you’re putting this much effort into a fallout shelter, and not just building one for funsies, please find a better design than “POLE COVERED TRENCH SHELTER.”

Pole Covered Trech

Now the article breaks into a subheading for the POLE COVERED TRENCH SHELTER. The author helpfully explains:

Basically, the idea on this one is to dig a trench, then place poles/logs on top of it and finish the combination with some soil/earth on top.

Done and done.

The first sub-step involves gathering your tools (you know, shovels).

The second sub-step goes a little over the edge into prepper/postapocalyptic dictator territory telling readers to “assign different tasks to different individuals according to their strengths and weaknesses.” Because you are The Decider.

The next several steps are trench-digging basics like, don’t dig in an area with flammable stuff (kind of like don’t put in a flowerbed without calling the utilities sorta thing), put the pile of dirt at least five feet away (no idea why), and the deeper the trench, the better the radiation protection. You know, your basic stuff.

Once we’ve dug our trench, we move on to covering it with logs and cloth or leaves. Then when we’re “absolutely positive that there is no way for the dirt to get into the living space, place the soil you dug out (and is five feet away) on the logs.”

The next step addresses the toilet issue, and includes this handy image (which I’m 95% sure is unachievable and the stuff of scifi in a dirt trench).

watercloset

Then you’re supposed to make some beds: “If your skills permit, make a bunk bed.”

Step 11 helpfully explains:

Since no one likes to be trapped inside a fallout shelter if a fire happens, make sure you have at least two different exits in your fallout shelter.

OK!

And…that’s it! BUT. But…the best part of this article is the Tips, which start out crammed together in some sort of James Joyce does the Cold War paragraph. Have a look:

Tips

I mean, this tip has everything. Soil conditions, e-book fallout shelter plans, missing punctuation and typos, shout-out to “scroungers,” tips for dealing with labor, warnings about the danger of re-bar (it’ll kill you!), you know, all the basics.

After the great Tips section, we have another Paragraph 1 (I don’t know either), listing things you should include in your fallout shelter. My favorite is the First-Aid kit, which should be “extensive” and “not just the ‘taking the kids to the park’ set.” The author helpfully lists the First-Aid kit recommended by the US Department of Defense (from god knows what year), which is honestly pretty basic.

His HIGHLY (his emphasis) recommended section includes things that sound “fun” and you “may need a doctor’s clearance for a couple of these.”

HIGHLY

So, I should just go to my doctor and ask for Tincture of Opium and a rando narcotic then? If she asks why, I’ll just tell her it’s for my fallout shelter. Should be no problem.

After the HIGHLY recommended list, the author includes other stuff you should have in the fallout shelter. My favorite is “Smoke signals” because these are definitely a physical object I can stock in my shelter. Or is he talking about the Sherman Alexie novel and just bad at punctuation? Either way.

Also good on the list of stuff is the “Radio and ‘walkie-talikes'” bullet:

walkietalkies

For national security, guys.

The article helpfully rounds-up some Warnings and Things You’ll Need to tie up the whole shebang.

warnings

Remember to Practice Trench Safety, kids!

Until next time!

Happy Atom Smashing!

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It’s once again Fallout Shelter Friday! This week’s shelter isn’t a fallout shelter at all, but Art!

Pink (Art) Fallout Shelter Doors

In 2009 the Canadian art collective, Instant Coffee created the Disco Fallout Shelter installation for the Toronto Sculpture Garden. The installation was on display from May 6 through September 15, 2009, and man I wish I’d seen it live rather than via the 1997ish, super low-tech website on which it currently resides. (Or maybe the retroness of the site is part of the exhibit? You never know with art!)

Anyway, the installation consisted of the above-ground portions (mainly the door and ventilator duct) of a 1950s fallout shelter, all blinged-out in Pepto pink and a disco-ballified satellite dish. Visitors wound their way through the installation by way of a yellow brick road, terminating at a locked (pink!) shelter door, through which party music is heard. So, what was behind the locked door? Well, the exhibit answers that for us, thanks to a video screen housed in the ventilator duct.

The ventilator duct provided a glimpse into the (supposed) goings on of the shelter. Shelter residents could be seen “playing records, eating spaghetti, dancing, reading, sleeping and just hanging out in the tight confines…of the shelter.” Of course this was all make-believe, with the collective members making up the residents and prerecording the whole shindig.

Ventilator Video Screen

Cow_Fallout_Shelter

Cows need fallout shelters too!

This shelter was built outside Omaha, Nebraska, in 1963 under a dairy. It was designed to hold 200 cows plus their human keepers and cow food and your normal apocalypse supplies. This shelter was designed to test whether cows could be protected from The Bomb, and still produce safe, non-radioactive milk.

Moo!

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The New Orleans Civil Defense Center was designed to function as a command center during man-made (nuclear) and natural disasters. The command center was put to use for the second purpose during 1965’s Hurricane Betsy. This film shows the command center in action, complete with the mayor descending the stairs into the shelter and the call center (room?) full of (mostly) ladies manning the phone lines helping with such personal emergencies as a baby being born during the hurricane.

To see the New Orleans-specific part of the video, start at ~10:44. Though honestly the film is great throughout providing great insight into one of the nastiest hurricanes and the early Sixties in general. There’s even footage of the Gemini V astronauts, whose mission was shortened by an orbit due to the hurricane.

Enjoy this peak into Hurricane Betsy and the New Orleans Civil Defense Shelter in its prime.

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Great first person walk-through of the old Dallas Civil Defense Emergency Operations Center fallout shelter. It’s located under one of the buildings at the Perot Museum of Nature and Science at Fair Park. Unfortunately, it isn’t open to the public. But don’t let this stop you! A nice email or friendly phone call can go a long way towards getting yourself a tour of an atomic site. Trust me. 🙂

The Civil Defense Museum has a great write up of the shelter, based on a few visits to the site.

And while we’re in Texas, here’s an interesting piece about a house and fallout shelter in Oak Park, Texas.

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